I'm going to miss the rhythms of summer: the long days, breaking of waves and sounds of crickets. They remind me of growing up in the South and cause me to feel centered, relaxed, and renewed.
Thinking about these rhythms of summer made me realize that relationships have rhythms too. I head them this morning during a business call. It was the easy give and take, the willingness to deal directly on tough issues, and the authenticity of the person on the other end that created the rhythm. There was no posturing or sugar coating; just two people in sync, working together to resolve a complex business issue. Because of the rhythm of that relationship, following that call I felt acknowledged, connected and energized. The first day back from my vacation was off to a great start!
Unfortunately, not all business calls (or days back from vacation) go so smoothly. Some days the relationship rhythms are not so soothing. They pierce rather than soothe. In those relationships there’s more talking than listening, insistence on being right rather than learning, or conflict rather than collaboration. On those days, I leave work drained or exhausted.
So, next time you’re at work on a call or in a meeting, listen for the rhythms of the relationships. What do you hear? If there is something that feels “off” to you, it probably is. Check it out. Find out what gives. Is it just a bad day for someone else? Is there something you or others are doing that is impacting the meeting? Is there something you can do to alter the rhythm of the relationship to make the process and the outcome more productive? If there is, for heavens sake, do it. Make a move. Take a risk. Ask a question. Listen more closely. Alter your tone. Do whatever it takes to make the relationship rhythm as productive as possible. Your colleagues, customers, families and friends will thank you for it! (And vacation won’t seem nearly so far away.)
1. Take Better Care. First and foremost, people who manage well in turbulent times start by taking better care of themselves. They eat better, drink less, and make certain they get some exercise. That allows them to clear their heads, reduce their stress and be more resilient. It helps them avoid being overwhelmed.
2. Stay Focused. They stay more focused on doing an excellent job on the task at hand. That way they experience regular short-term successes that keep them motivated.
3. Know the Options. They have looked at possible scenarios and know their options, but they don't dwell on the worst-case scenarios. They stay open to all possibilities so they can make the most of whatever situation arises.
4. Listen Better. They talk less and become better listeners. They practice their reflective listening skills. They create an environment in which those around them can vent their frustration, concerns or fears, feel heard and then they move on.
5. Stay Centered & Confident. People who thrive on turbulent times stay centered and confident. They understand that confidence is contagious and they draw on a climate that promotes confidence. They look for possibilities rather than blind alleys.
6. Network. They don't try to go it alone. They increase their connections with others and draw off their skills.
7. Keep Evolving. They are sure that this, too, will pass. They know change is constant.
A Message from Sallie